I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
