You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
