She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
