Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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