You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
