After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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