I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
