Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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