ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
