I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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