So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
