Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
