He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
