And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
