He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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