holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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