she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
