he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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