I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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