Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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