I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
