I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
