he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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