Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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