State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
