Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
