Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
