id be glad to
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
