Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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