but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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