you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
