I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
