He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
