in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm getting married
To pizza
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
