fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
