I forgot how hot balto sounded
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
