I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
