so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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