Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
