I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
