i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
