Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just found puke in my bra..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize