farters have to be the big spoon...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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