About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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