I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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