16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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