is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
