I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
