This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
