i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
one two three fourrrrnication!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
