Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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