Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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