I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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