The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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